From Inner Healing to Outer Peace: The Personal Journey as the Foundation for Collective Reconciliation (Part 1)

By Suraj Budathoki 
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I am making my first-ever trip to the African nation of Sierra Leone, a nation finally beginning to reconcile after decades of bloody civil war. As someone who survived forceful expulsion from his country at an early age, and where the division is chronic and shows no sign of improving, this journey is crucial. 

My journey into reconciliation within myself began not as a grand declaration, but as a deeply personal quest for healing—healing for myself, for my community, and ultimately, for my birth homeland of Bhutan. Because I have, early in my life, experienced displacement, a reasonable part of my life has been dedicated to the pursuit of a serene environment where peace, dignity, and understanding thrive. I couldn’t find a guideline for my healing journey until I crossed      paths with the wisdom of the great peacemakers, Mahatma Gandhi, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

My physical journey from a Bhutanese refugee camp in Nepal where I spent almost 20 years to the United States was just part of the struggle; I knew that too well. The invisible wounds—those of trauma, loss, humiliation, and disconnection—could not be healed simply by crossing borders or leaving decades behind. Another type of journey was necessary, a journey that gravitated inward toward self-discovery and outward toward community and collective healing.

I’ve learned that it is critically important to engage in a healing process prior to engaging in peacebuilding and reconciliation work, especially for a person that has been strongly impacted by historical trauma or other forms of personal pain. Unsettled trauma does not only cloud judgment but also sustains cycles of pain and hampers the ability to stimulate authentic reconciliation. As we’ve often heard, "Hurt people hurt people." In other words, individuals whose wounds are not yet healed may, often unknowingly, transfer their aggression to others, aggravating dispute instead of finding a solution to them.

For that reason, healing is not just a personal necessity but a necessary condition for contributing to the greater collective settlement process. To honestly offer the empathy, patience, and understanding required to close gaps and promote a more peaceful future, individuals must first tend their own wounds.

Reading the works of Gandhi, Tutu, and MLK, Jr., I realized how crucial it is to respect and honor those on the other side of the conflict, not as foes, but as equal contenders in a shared game. Each of these peacemakers confronted strongly ingrained injustices but believed in the transformative power of nonviolence, forgiveness, and reconciliation.

The ahimsa principle of Mahatma Gandhi—the nonviolence practice—profoundly resonated with me. Gandhi taught that true peace emanates from understanding one’s opponents. Through his belief in satyagraha, or the force of truth, I realized that reconciliation starts from accepting the humanity and dignity of the other side, even when their actions have caused harm. From the Bhutanese point of view, it implies understanding the historical and political intricacies without giving in to bitterness or displeasure.

My understanding of collective healing is strongly impacted by Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s role in South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission. “No future without forgiveness,” as he believed, particularly stands out to me. According to Tutu, forgiveness is not just for the one who has been wronged, it is also for the wrongdoer as well. He also argued that it is a requisite step toward freeing both parties from the cycle of pain and violence. The caveat we need to understand, however, is that righteous closer of the conflict is necessary for forgiving wrongdoers.

I have given this idea the utmost attention in my work with Peace Initiative Bhutan. I have realized that true reconciliation is about transforming our thoughts about the past, not about wiping them away. The primary aim is to openly confront the injustices we endured and not to forget them and to seek a path that heals rather than encourages division.

Dr. King’s vision of a “Beloved Community” sustained my hope for what is possible, even when confronted with deep-rooted conflict. From Dr. King, I learned that justice and peace are attainable realities and not unachievable dreams, as long as we are committed to nonviolent struggle and hold firmly to the belief in human dignity. The idea that peacebuilding must be grounded in empathy, compassion, and a refusal to treat the other side as if they are lesser humans was strengthened by his philosophy of love as a driving force in social change.

Today, as I go on with my work in peacebuilding, both in Bhutan and with Bhutanese communities around the world, I am accompanied by the lessons of these exceptional leaders. I am reminded by their teachings that peace is not just an absence of war or violence, but a state of mind, a way of living, and a commitment to healing the wounds of the past.
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The path to sustainable peace in Bhutan demands that we all come together as equal players, believing in each other’s humanity, while committing to the tough but crucial work of restoring trust. This journey is about learning to see further than the pain of the past and toward the potential for a future that inculcates all of us. And just as Gandhi, Tutu, and MLK Jr. have taught us, this journey needs immense courage, patience, and, above all, love.

As I strive to bring healing and reconciliation to my people, the wisdom of these extraordinary leaders keeps me grounded and focused. Their words serve as a constant reminder that peace is not just an aspiration but a tangible possibility—one that requires us to see each other not as adversaries, but as partners in a shared journey. Each of us has a role in building a world that is more just, compassionate, and peaceful.

Stay tuned for Part 2. 

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Suraj Budathoki is the co-founder and president of Peace Initiative Bhutan, which is committed to fostering positive change in Bhutan through reconciliation. His organization partners with Global Citizens Circle, collaborating to share resources and knowledge in peacebuilding through sincere dialogue. In addition to his peace work, Suraj is a doctoral student in Transformative Social Change at Saybrook University in California, and he was recently elected to serve in the NH State House of Representatives. 

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Please note: Each week, we invite members of the greater Global Citizens Circle community to contribute to GCC Voices. The views and opinions expressed in each blog post are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Global Citizens Circle.

Because I have, early in my life, experienced displacement, a reasonable part of my life has been dedicated to the pursuit of a serene environment where peace, dignity, and understanding thrive.
                                                                                                                     - Suraj Budathoki ​